Aloha,

I have a story today. It's towards the end so be patient or scroll down and check it out first.

So today I had a day off. Woohoo! Two in a row. I relaxed a bit at the Mill, FINALLY slept in for my first time here (aka 10am), and then hit the beach at around 2. The only thing I had planned today was dinner with this guy I met last night. LOL. Met him yesterday in Pa'ia, he called today and invited me to dinner. Talk about excellent turn around. As I have no friends yet, I said yes and was really excited to get out. So anyways, I made it to the beach and dipped my toes into Ho'okipa for the first time since I've been here....which is actually a little ridiculous as it is the closest beach to me and not even a ten minute drive. Ho'okipa is really famous and is recognized as one of the top surf/windsurfing beaches in the world. The swells apparently get REALLY big in the winter over here, and its expected that I'll get to see a couple before I leave. *fingers still crossed that I'll be able to see Jaws go off at least once!*

 

Anyways, Sylvia drops me off at the beach as she has errands to run in Pa'ia and I immediately get to sunbathing. Pablo, a co-worker of mine from home, called and made my day! Miss and love you guys so much. Expect a postcard for line up :) A bit later, I hear someone calling my name and it's Sylvia (the housekeeper, not my boss) who is a mega surfer and this totally hot older latina lady. She told me, "If you can swim, you can surf". That's good news. I have intentions of going out with her. Maybe she can teach me. HOORAY! Sidenote: I hit my "big bernie" on the beach and it was AMAZING. If you want to know what "big bernie" means, shoot me a text. It's just a funny joke. Anyways, she introduces me to her friend and then maybe two more friends show up and we're all coolin' it on the beach until Sylvia (my boss) comes back and decided she was going to start her paddle at Ho'okipa. She went about six miles from Ho'okipa to Kite Beach and gave me directions to pick her up. I've never been to Kite Beach but I google mapped it and figured I would get there. Anyways, I left WAY early to make sure I had enough time to get there and so she would see me when she was paddling on the beach. I am driving her Old white Ford pick up truck which has a fussy transmission so it hops a little every time I stop, and have a trunk full of greenery and shrubs aka I look like a REAL local. Every time I hit a stop light, people looked twice as it was a brown girl with curly hair in an orange bikini in a pick up truck. The radio wasn't working so I was playing UB40 Pandora from my phone. LOL. So, I make it to Kite Beach (hooray) and follow her instructions as where she will be. There were tons of kitesurfers flying around in the wind and it was absolutely incredible to watch. It's almost like a baby surfboard attached to their feet and HUGE kites in the sky that lift them and pull them into the downwind. So cool. I literally saw one guy flying in the air about 10 feet. Crazy. And there were SO many of them. They were flying around, kiting and zipping everywhere. They're all so talented. And ripped. Goodness, little Poseidon men running around. I would LOVE to learn how to kite. I digress...

 Ridin'around and gettin' it.
 Can you see me with my big hair, Ray bans on, BRIGHT orange bikini and iPhone playing UB40 Pandora. Laugh. Oh, and this isn't even CLOSE to being a hoopdie. For real.

 Where have my boobies gone? This is crazy because that's not what I look like. LOL. Sorry. They're on vacation I suppose. Had 'em yesterday. Also, I'm mad that you can wear literally NO bottoms but you have to wear a top. I would much rather just not have these "flashlight" tan lines. HELLO. WHO WANTS THAT?! Next time, I'm just doin' it. Fight me.

So, I am waiting and waiting and waiting and everyone starts to leave and pack it in. It gets dark and I am still waiting. It's freezing because it is super windy and then it gets completly dark and I still haven't seen Sylvia. At this point I am freaking out (it's dark and I'm newly afraid of the pitch black dark) because I think something happened in the water. I run back to my pick up truck and I see some lady and she won't pay me any mind but is tending to 5,000,000 cats. Seriously. So I freak out a little bit more because I cant find my boss and I am going to have to explain to people that she is dead. I get in the car and can't figure out how to turn the lights on. This car has to be a '91 or something and I am in the dark. EEK. I try to flag some people over but they arent stopping at all until this old lady stops. SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU OLD LADY. I explain to her that I cant get the lights on in my car and she and I try to figure it out until we pop some thing-a-ma-jig and the lights go on. I drive and enter every part of the beach that I can now that it is SUPER dark and I think Sylvia is somewhere in the dark and cold, or lost at sea. I can't find her anywhere so I drive back down the beach (talking to myself trying to calm myself down after I lost my boss) and bump into a group of gentlemen that initially had pointed me in the direction of Kite Beach. I explain my sitch and the two of them decide to sandwich my car with two of theirs and drive into every entrance looking for Sylvia. We can't find her or anyone anywhere and they have flashlights and are looking all over, speaking to random people, etc. I have called Clarissa at least 18 times, Corine doesn't have a phone, Steph won't pick up and Sylvia (the houskeeper) is freaking out just like me. So the sandwich gentlemen and I enter another entrance and see a kite surfer packing his gear up so we ask him if he's seen a female paddleboarder. He hasn't and says "Man, you know you have to call the Coast Guard..No, call 911. You know, the water does what the water does, man. They love getting in the helicopter and finding people...man, you know the water can be a real beast." At this point I start to to get big gloopy eyes as if I'm about to cry. Too much, I have officially, I have lost my boss to the ocean. The two sandwich boys are looking at me like "OH SH**, this girl is crying" and I am seriously freaking out. She had left Ho'okipa at 4 and I was waiting for her by 5 at Kite Beach, and now it was 7 which is WAY too long of a time for her to go only six miles...especially because shes literally a pro. So I pick up my phone, unlock it and get ready to call the cops. As I unlock my phone a Hawai'i area code is calling me. Apparently when Sylvia didn't find me, she managed to find someone to take her aka hitchhike all the way back to Haiku with her paddleboard and paddle. God Bless these Hawai'ian people picking up hitchhikers and whatnot. Anyways, I am SO relieved and I promised those two sandwich boys I would buy them a drink somewhere. They were also beautiful. I really wouldn't mind hanging out. Call me? lol.

 There were like 20 of them, but I managed to get a shot with just one. How? I don't know.

Anyways.

I go to put gas in the car and at that point realize I am about to get fired. I just lost my boss after specific instructions (even though I told her I never had been there and had no idea where I was going), left her stranded in her bikini and board, and she had to hitchhike home. I make it back to Haiku and we go over everything that happened. End of story: we're all good and I have my job still. Excellent.

To tie this in from the beginning, the gentleman I was supposed to have dinner with called while I was driving home. Seriously, talk about bad timing. I was kind of concerned being that I had just thought I'd lost my boss, had her hitchhike, thought I might get fired, etc. and I pick up the phone and go "I LOST MY BOSS IN THE OCEAN. CANT TALK". Needless to say, he was like "Uh, okay. Let's go out another day." LOL. We have plans for Friday...maybe. No concerns or worries over here.

Well, that was my anxiety attack for today. In other news, my mother sent me a package and wrote my address on it THREE times. On the outside of the box, on a box inside of the box, and on a manila envelope inside of the box of the box. Thanks mom, it arrived. You are so thorough.

With warmest aloha,

MJ